Will you come up to Limerick?

[ginger_jane]

Лимерик – это короткое смешное стихотворение, состоящее из пяти строк. Читаются лимерики обычно с выражением, и часто используются при обучении английскому языку для копирования интонаций.
В процессе своих штудий я наткнулась на один из них, и решила тут их вывесить "про запас" 
A limerick is a five-line poem with a strict rhyme scheme (aabba), which intends to be witty or humorous, and is sometimes obscene with humorous intent.

There was an Old Man of Peru, Who dreamt he was eating his shoe. He awoke in the night In a terrible fright And found it was perfectly true! There was a Young Lady of Niger, Who smiled as she rode on a tiger; They returned from the ride With the Lady inside, And the smile on the face of the tiger.

Однажды увидел чудак Во сне, что он ест свой башмак Он вмиг пробудился И убедился, Что это действительно так. Одна хохотушка-девица Любила кататься на львице. Признаться вам честно – Девица исчезла, Зато улыбается львица.

There was a clever old miser who tries
Every method to e-co-no-mize.
He said with a wink
"I save gallons of ink
By simply not dotting my i's"

There was an Old Person of Fife,
Who was greatly disgusted with life;
They sang him a ballad,
And fed him a salad,
Which cured that Old Person of Fife.

A certain young fellow named Bee-Bee
Wished to wed a woman named Phoebe.
"But," he said, "I must see
What the clerical fee
Be before Phoebe be Phoebe Bee-Bee

There was an Old Man of the North,
Who fell in a basin of broth;
But a quick-witted cook
Fished him out with a hook,
Which saved that Old Man of the North.

There was a young man from Dealing
Who caught the bus for Ealing.
It said on the door
Don't spit on the floor
So he jumped up and spat on the ceiling.

There was a Young Lady whose nose
Was so long that it reached to her toes;
So she hired an Old lady
Whose conduct was steady,
To carry that wonderful nose.

There was a young lady from Hyde,
Who ate a green apple and died.
While her lover lamented,
The apple fermented,
And made cyder inside her inside.

There once was a man from Harare,
Who bought a brand new Ferrari.
Now the buck and the gnu
And the elephant too
Hide away when he goes on safari.

There was an Old Man with a beard,
Who said, "It is just as I feared! —
Two Owls and a Hen,
Four Larks and a Wren,
Have all built their nests in my beard!"

There was a young man so benighted
He never knew when he was slighted;
He would go to a party
And eat just as hearty,
As if he'd been really invited.

There was a Young Lady whose chin
Resembled the point of a pin;
So she had it made sharp,
And purchased a harp,
And played several tunes with her chin.

There was a young lady named Bright
Who travelled much faster than light.
She started one day
In a relative way
And returned on the previous night.

A pretty young teacher named Beauchamp
Said, "Those awful boys! How shall I teauchamp?
I try to look grave
But they will not behave
Though with tears in my eyes I beseauchamp."

There was a young girl of Darjeeling
Who could dance with such exquisite feeling
There was never a sound
For miles around
Save of fly-buttons hitting the ceiling.

A painter, who lived in Great Britain,
Interrupted two girls with their knittin'
He said, with a sigh,
"That park bench - well I
Just painted it, right where you're sittin.'"

И я не могла не заметить вот это творение:
A mosquito was heard to complain,
'A chemist has poisoned my brain!'
The cause of his sorrow
was paradichloro-
triphenyldichloroethane.

Read even more, or try to finish the next limerick.
Можно попробовать и самим закончить лимерик:
There once was a pauper named Meg
Who accidentally broke her _______.
She slipped on the ______.
Not once, but thrice
Take no pity on her, I __________.